by Chadd Downing

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1.99 USD  or more



This is a song I created in collaboration with Timothy Lawson and the good folks of 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide. Please listen, and share so we can raise awareness of this devastating epidemic.


Chorus: through all my ups and downs, I'm a probably mess around, go ahead and make it on top/ through all my different tours, I dun see some shit before, but some how my heart ain't stop/ I gotta live 4x

Verse: heavy as a brick upon my chest, can't sleep at night my mind state is a mess, Johnny, jack and jim get me through when I'm stressed, man in the mirror got me fearing what is next/ I remember life, it wasn't like this, I wish that I didn't have to write this/ pain in my heart from the shit I seen, suicide vest from the mujahideen.
Lost my best friend back in '07, daisy chain took his life it was nothing left to bury him, it was hella scary then, wish it was a dream, just passed his birthday, he was 19. I gotta live for a purpose, even though some morning I wake up feeling worthless/ doctor say I got some demons living in me, I tell that mother fucker he ain't never been there wit me.

Keep all opinions to ya self, everyone's an expert when I comes to mental health, doctors write prescriptions, soon as preachers quote from scripture, I been living with some issues, I been coping with some liquors (what is this)


released October 16, 2014
Produced by Chris Prythm of Ill-It Beatz, Engineered by FatRat Da Czar



all rights reserved


Chadd Downing Trenton, New Jersey

Trenton NJ native; USMC Veteran

contact / help

Contact Chadd Downing

Streaming and
Download help